SCRAP-LOVE

New blog!!

2011-02-14T02:03:00.000-08:00

I decided to make a new blog and you can find me over here from now on: Anniek's Art.
Hope to see and hear from you soon!

Cover for Moleskine Art Journal

2011-01-04T11:29:00.000-08:00

Finally made a cover for one of my 4 Moleskine Art Journals in which I started the more stylized faces from Suzi Blu's workshop the Goddess and the Poet.

I first collaged a copy of a painting made by Ivan Nikolayevich Kramskoy of the philosoper & poet Vladimir Solovyov (1853-1900) on the cover of my moleskine. I then collaged different new and vintage fabric and lace around the copy. I drew a face and body on some paper and colored and painted it. Collaged it on top of the fabric. Made some hair using modeling paste and painted it once it was fully dry. At last I added the rose, rub-ons, letters and heart.
The story is that the poet is in love with the goddess of love. He's thinking about her all the time and writes beautiful poems about how their souls are connected in total freedom!

Here you can see the backside of the cover.

Art journal page

2010-12-31T00:11:00.000-08:00

Finished a new Art Journal page. I started this one a couple of weeks ago and liked the sketch so much that I first made the painting Dance for yourself using the same sketch. This time I left a message for myself: count your blessings every day. That will be one of my resolutions for 2011!!

Celebrate life!

2010-12-28T07:37:00.000-08:00

Another angel with a message: celebrate life. I wish I could celebrate life every single day for the rest of my life! I try but sometimes it's hard when your body is tired and aching and you feel depressed. I thought I felt good enough to not take the Kira forte (natural anti-depressive) but I think I need some more time to get rid of those nasty depressing thoughts!!

Live now!!

2010-12-24T06:54:00.000-08:00

I just love making these small paintings!! Finished yet another one! Very productive these days before Christmas!!

Love now!!

2010-12-22T03:41:00.000-08:00

Just a cute angel on a small wooden box that says: LOVE NOW!!!
Merry Xmas everyone!

A new angel!!

2010-12-14T12:04:00.000-08:00

Already finished a new painting!! The idea for this painting came up when I was drawing in my art journal. So now I have an unfinished sketch of the same angel in my art journal and I have to come up with something new!
Well, here she is my angel with a message! (PS Not in the mood to write, feeling very tired today!!)

Yeah I know ....

2010-12-07T02:45:00.000-08:00

... haven't been here for a while! I have been busy with the removal of my parents to a home for elderly people! They both moved in on Wednesday November 24. I went to the rehab to travel together with my dad in a wheelchair cab back to his new home and his wife for 57 years. They have been living separated for almost 10 months due to his illness! My dad was very emotional when we arrived at his new home. I tried to take photos of him and my mother when they were reunited but my dad is crying on both photos. Besides that the photos are a bit blurry because I cried too!
Since they have moved to their new home I have been busy with cleaning up their old house. It has to be sold! I would have loved to buy it from my parents but I just don't have the money so I have to let it go!

In between the removal and cleaning up the house I have had some time to draw and practice the 3/4 faces from Suzi Blu's workshop La Sirena. I have to make a large painting on canvas with 3 figures. One of the faces I drew was too large for the painting and I used it to make an Art Journal page.

Angel of love

2010-11-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

Finally finished the angel painting for my dad!!! He liked the small painting of the angel with a bird on a wing very much so I made him a larger version of that painting. Because there was much more space to fill I added some flowers. I hope he will like it!
For this painting I used techniques from Kelly Ray Roberts and Suzi Blu.
The vintage buttons are from a collection that my mother used to keep in an old box. The lace is from a flea market in Paris.

A new mermaid!

2010-11-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

Just finished my latest mermaid from Suzi Blu's La Sirena workshop! You can still join this workshop over here and now even with a discount of 10 USD! Today I saw that student number 500 signed in for this class! 500!!!

My latest mermaid is a large one: 12x24 inches (30x60 cm.). For me this is large because I prefer to work on small surfaces. I think I did okay for a first time. At first I wanted to add a lot more stuff in the background but then decided that I wanted to be the tail the vocal point of the painting.

After I had put beeswax on the hair it looked a bit dull and that's why I put some golden accents in the hair.

If you look very close you can see some shimmery stars in the background (the middle sized ones). They were send to me from the USA by another student at Suzi's: Kimberly Ward. You really have to go and see her artwork in her Etsy shop over here. She's very talented!
Namasté.

A short visit to Belgium.

2010-10-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

My sweetheart and I went for a short visit to Belgium last weekend. We rented a small studio in Blankenberge with a nice view on the sea and the beach from Friday 15.00 hrs. till Monday 11.00 hrs..
On Saturday we visited Brugge which is one of the oldest cities of Belgium. Lots of old houses and canals. We even didn't have the time to visit one of the many museums because there was so much to see in the old centre of the city.

We were both exhausted when we returned to the studio and went to bed very early.

On Sunday we woke up very early and went for a walk along the beach to see the sun rise. I took some really cool photos.

After breakfast we went for a car ride along the Belgian coast. We stopped several times to take a walk on the beach. We even went to France to have a drink in the first village au bord de la mer: Bray-Dunes.

After we had returned to Blankenberge there were still some shops open and we went to a small shop where they sold all kind of products from Indonesia, Bali, Thailand and Nepal. I bought a sarong with batik motifs from Java. The lady who ownes the shop told us that she and her family used to live on Bali for about 8 years before they returned to Belgium 6 years ago. They still go there to buy the products they sell in their shop from the local people.

On Monday we went back home, but not before I bought my quilt-iron in Turnhout. I'm going to use it for waxing my paintings. I had been looking for the quilt-iron in my country but it was very expensive. In Belgium I payed half the prize!!

Latest projects from La Sirena class

2010-10-08T00:30:00.000-07:00

I have finished 2 new projects from Suzi Blu's La Sirena class!
The first one is a folk art mermaid which I wood-burned on an old cigarbox. This was a fun project although the wood was very dry and hard to work on. Next time I'll use clear gesso and sandpaper to make the surface smoother and easier to work on! But I like it anyways and it's a great box for keeping my pencils.

The cigarbox before I started.

The wood burned mermaid with her face and body colored with pencils.

She's finished!! Added a little star-fish as a knob.

The inside of the box, painted and collaged with paper.

The second project is a painting of a folk art mermaid. I'll show you a couple of the stages it went through before I liked it and started with bees waxing it. It was my very first time to use bees wax on a painting and I LOVE it. I used an ordinary old iron (with no holes in it) which I bought for just a couple of Euros at a fleesmarket. The 100% bees wax I use is in thin sheets and are normally used for making candles. This is very handy because I don't need to melt the bees wax first. Next thing I'm going to buy is a small quilt iron!!

Just the background and the mermaid figure made of paper.

Here I added modeling paste on the hair and star-fish. I used self-made masks for making the dolphins and plants.

Here I added some blue sand and made more depth in the painting by making shadows with a purple pencil.

I wasn't pleased with the first color of the tail and experimented a bit with different colors. I ended up with a purple tail with pink scales.

This was the mermaid before I started with the waxing.

And voila here she is!! I ended up covering the dolphin at the bottom because I wasn't pleased with it. IRL she looks even better!

She got lost

2010-09-05T12:21:00.000-07:00

Finished my first Suzi Blu mermaid painting in my art journal a couple of days ago. I had so much fun making this!!

It is not difficult at all to make. Just make a background in the art journal with alohol inks and spray paint. Add water and dab with a tissue, add alcohol drops and dab again. Add some drops of bleech and let it rest for a while. Draw a mermaid on another page of the art journal and take that page out of the journal. Cut out the mermaid, color and paint it. Put some green seaweed made of thin paper on the bottom of the left and right page. Glue down the mermaid and add some more seaweed on top of her. Add some fish and seahorses and glue down some small crystals as air bubbles. Put a flower in the hair of the mermaid and also some crystal stars. I made green pearly lines in her hair with 3D fabric paint from Tulip.
The title of my page is: She got lost. It's about losing your own spirit growing up. You can loose your own true self in so many ways and get lost. But can you see that my mermaid is swimming out of the seaweed? Soon she'll be in the open water and free to move around as she pleases! That's where I'm heading too!!

Fairy jar

2010-08-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I made this fairy jar.

It's a project I saw at Suzi Blu's Les petit Academy. Just watch the video here for the instructions.

Mermaid background techniques

2010-08-26T06:43:00.000-07:00

This is what I made thusfar for Suzi's mermaid workshop! It's so much fun playing with paints, water, alcohol inks and spray paint. I love it!!!

I made a collage with arcsoft collage creator of several techniques I worked on yesterday. (click on the photo for a better look)

Today I made this one using sea salt.

And on this background I used several of Suzi's techniques.

I'm going to use this one for my first mermaid painting.

What can I say ...

2010-08-25T02:22:00.000-07:00

... I'm a bad blogger (again!!)!!!
I could say that I was away on vacation, but I can't, because I stayed at home whole Summer! It has been a bit of a hectic period though with lots of things going on with both my parents and with my son. I (still) get overwhelmed quickly by things happening around me which affect me and makes me feel stressed and tired.
And although Summer started with lots of sun, these last few weeks, there has been a lot of rain and it makes that I can feel that the fibro is still active in my body. I try not to pay much attention to the pain and the fatigue (not to feed the negative) but sometimes it's hard to not think about it when I feel like an old lady of 80+!

I try to do something creative as much as possible and that helps most of the time to forget about the pain and the fatigue. So, I finished the pages in my art journal, made 2 angels on small wooden embellishments boxes and recently started a new online workshop (about mermaids) at the Suzi Blu Academy.

This is the final result of my art journal page. I called it love, freedom and aloneness! It's the title of a book from Osho. These three words mean a lot to me. IRL the colors are way better and also the shading of the face, but for some reason I can't make a good looking picture of my page.

I made this angel on the back side of a small wooden embellishment box. I like to work on small surfaces. For the background I used a page from Shakespeare's work. The dress of the angel is made with vintage fabric. I gave this one to Cor!

This angel is also made on a small wooden box. The big heart is actually made of felt which I covered with modeling paste and after it was dry I painted it. The bird is a print out which I gave a little touch of red paint.
The words are cut from a vintage book. For this angel I used techniques from Suzi Blu and Kelly Ray Roberts.

PS I'm so happy with the changes at Blogger. I can finally put my photos wherever I want to!

Working in my art journal

2010-07-19T23:52:00.000-07:00

I've had a busy week with my dad suddenly taken to hospital on Wednesday with a high fever and being very confused. He ripped out his drip 5 times! Luckily the fever dissappeared overnight and he could leave the hospital the next day. But he still was very confused!

On Friday there was a bonescan planned and he had to go there with an ambulance. I went with him because he was still confused and very tired. The doctors wanted to get him the bonescan as soon as possible because of the pain he has from the cancer, so that's why they decided to let him have the bonescan despite his condition. Luckily he's doing much better now!

However I was feeling very tired over the weekend and decided I needed a break and do something I like to do and which gives me energy and pleasure. So, yesterday I started working in my art journal again. It'll be a page about love and freedom, two very important words to me!

I also went to see a friend who recently was on a holiday in Denmark. Her sister also dropped by and she used to work with my son so it was nice talking to her too!

When I went for a walk I stopped by a small birdsnest that Cor's dog molested on Sunday, hurting one of the still naked birdies. I managed to repare the nest and put it back on a small branch in between the stinging nettles with the 2 birdies in it. Today I discovered that there was only one birdy left and that the mother was still taking care of her little one.

Bees on lavender.

2010-07-12T02:22:00.000-07:00

Still enjoying the warm weather and taking it easy. I was glad with some heavy rain-showers Saturdaynight and last night. Although last night the water came dripping into my son's room. This morning a guy from the house-renting company (?) came over to look for the problem . There was a lot of mud, leaves and other rubbish on top of the roofwindow in between the window and the roofing-tiles and the water couldn't run down anymore and found itself the easiest way to escape: into the house! He had just finished his cleaning job when another rain-shower came pouring down and it seems that the problem is solved.

Cor and I had a quiet weekend. We went swimming on Saturday evening after we went to his house during the day to take care of the animals and to visit his mother. I also took some photos of bees on lavender in Cor's garden.

On Sunday we slept in and went to see my dad in the afternoon. We found out that he has an urinary tract infection and he was feverish and confused. Last Friday we went to see the urologist together and he was just fine that day. Things can change so quickly when people are as old as my parents and not in a very good health. The urologist has decided that my dad needs radiation treatment on his back. They already give him 45 mg of morphine every day and his back still hurts him. He now has to wait for a new bone scan and a visit to the radiologist. I hope that he doesn't need to wait too long!!

More butterflies

2010-07-08T02:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took some other photos of the same butterflies at Cor's. We think that they were busy making love. What do you think?

All kind of different creatures

2010-07-05T04:04:00.000-07:00

This Saturday it was time to shear the 3 sheep of Cor. He didn't let them shear last year and they looked like 'rasta' sheep. We managed to put them in a small shed just before the sheep-shearer arrived. He took them out one by one and put them on their behinds and then started to shear them. In just a couple of minutes the job was done and the sheep was naked. Cor now has 3 large and very thick fleeces which we're going to wash and then probably use for felting.

Very close to Cor's house I also took some very nice photos of a small butterfly called in latin Zygaena trifolii. In Dutch it is Vijfvlek-Sint-Jansvlinder (literal translation in English: fivespotted-Saint-Johnsbutterfly). It actually is a night butterfly that lives during the day. In this part of the country it is called a rare species.

On the same plants we also noticed 2 big green grasshoppers. We could see their jaws moving when they ate from the plant!

SUMMER!!!!!

2010-06-28T03:56:00.000-07:00

Finally the sunny and more than warm weather has arrived! It's Summer!!!

This weekend we had a bbq on Saturday with Cor, Zander, one of his 2 friends and I. It was nice and I'm so glad to see that Zander totally accepts Cor now. It almost took him a year to adjust to this new situation.

Yesterday Cor and I went to our Municipal Hall, together with a lot of other people from our community to try and break the picnic record for the Guiness Book of Records. We didn't succeed but it was fun and all for free. There were lots of other things to do and Cor and I took a workshop Djembe. I liked it so much that I also took the second class. Cor went to the hairdresser to cut off his long hair and it looks great!! I had my eyebrowes done with a thread. The lady who did them worked very fast and in no time she gave me beautiful eyebrowes.

Back at home we sat in the garden under the trees and enjoyed this refreshing breeze. It was a perfect weekend!!! Hope yours was too!

I love deer!!

2010-06-24T12:45:00.000-07:00

This evening I went for a walk close to my house and I took my camera with me. I was hoping to see some deer and I was lucky. I startled a deer that was very close to the path. I tried to take some photos while she was looking out for a way to escape but she was very fast and there were a lot of obstacles between her and me. Finally she ran into a small piece of wood and when I went over to look for her I saw her with her baby. I managed to shoot a couple of photos of the mother but her little one was behind her and a lot of branches. It was only when the mother decided that she and her little one weren't in any danger that I could take a photo of the behind of the fawn when it walked away behind it's mother. The photos aren't my best but as you can see there where a lot of branches between my camera and the deer and I also had to use the 12x optical zoom which makes it even more difficult to get clear and steady photos.

I also took a photo of a small tree that is standing in the middle of grass-land. I took a photo of the same tree last winter when there was lots of snow. I'll upload them both in this post so that you can see for yourself how lovely this little tree is all year round.

Some new old stuff

2010-06-22T10:53:00.000-07:00

When I was at Cor's place last weekend we went to "Het Goed" in Hoogeveen. It's a great recycle store where I love to go. I bought some warm clothes (because it was really cold this weekend and I forgot to bring some warm clothes with me) and in the back of the store I saw an old wooden step-ladder which I have been looking for for quite some time. The best part is that I got it for free! I like getting stuff for free, don't you?

Later that day we went to see an old schoolfriend of Cor who is the owner of La Brocante, a nice thrift shop with lots of stuff from France. I bought an old stew-pan where I'm going to put in some nice colorful plants.

Jenny Lane video

2010-06-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

Shame on me ...

2010-06-15T03:40:00.000-07:00

... for not keeping you updated about my life!

A lot of things have happened these last few months and by times I feel exhausted and not in the mood to sit down and write something on my blog. I make an effort today to tell you about what is going on lately!

The bad news is that the cancer is spreading further in my dad's body and he's on morphine now. If that's not helping enough he has to get radiation. The wound on his back is healing nicely but it is still a large wound. His therapy is going great!! He can walk in between the wooden barres by himself and they have also started to let him walk behind his rollator. We keep up hope that he and my mom will end up living together in a home for elderly people. My mom doesn't like to be alone and she asks a lot of my attention.

My son is doing okay but is giving me a lot of headaches. The school he was in for the last couple of years doesn't want him anymore. He missed out on his exams this year! They want me to put him in a special school for kids with behaviour problems. I'm not thrilled about those schools for kids with autism because there are a lot of kids with acting out behaviour who are using drugs and alcohol and whom are using the kids with autism for their criminal activities. I've heard that about 70-80% of the kids with autism attending these schools end up with a criminal record. That's not what I have in mind for my son!

My relationship with Cor is still standing strong and I love him to pieces!! We both like to do things outside and go to concerts. Last Wednesday we went to a concert of Deva Premal, Miten and Manose in Almere together. I have been to their concert last year with some friends but Cor also wanted to hear them sing live. It was great to hear them sing again!

And we also went to see a Dutch singer a couple of weeks ago. Her name is Jenny Lane and she gave a fab live performance in Groningen. I just had to buy her cd called Monsters after the concert and she signed it! Just go here to see a video I made during the concert!

My creative activities like painting and scrapbooking are on the hold for some time now. I have just recently started crochet because this is something I can take and do everywhere. My dad's not much of a talker and it's very calming to sit with him and work on my bed cover.

Photos:

Jenny Lane in Groningen
Deva Premal, Miten and Manose
Orchids near Cor's house
Cor's house with the orchids at the front
A Squirrel in a tree behind my house
A cormorant drying his/her wings near Cor's house

Latest news.

2010-04-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

The latest news is that my dad's cancer is spreading through his bones. That's why he was in a lot of pain! We already knew he had cancer (of the prostate) for 3 years but the doctor told us that he could easily live another 10 years or so. They don't give him chemo but hormones to stop the proces of spreading the cancer further through his body and he feels less pain already. Soon he will be going to another nursing and rehabilitation centre nearby, where they will focus on healing the decubitis and on exercices to give him back his strenght so that he can come back home. The doctor in hospital is very optimistic about that and so we are too! My dad is eager to go home so that will help him through the proces of getting him back on his feet and it gives him a goal. These last couple of months he was just laying in bed with a lot of pain and there was nothing positive in his situation. If the hormones do their work properly and stop spreading the cancer any further he can live a couple of more years. But we already know that it will come back sooner or later and so we have to accept that he's going to die within 2 or 3 years. But first we are going to celebrate his 82nd birthday next Saturday!

So for now life is going on and today Cor and I went to see the Liberty Tour. It's 65 years ago that Vries was liberated from the Germans during World War II and because all of the province of Drenthe was liberated it was celebrated with a Liberty Tour. About 150 old army vehicles were parading through our Province and today they were coming through Vries.

After the Liberty Tour we went to De Wijk because we promised Cor's mother we would take her to see the flowers at the estate near De Wijk. Cor and I also went there last weekend and I took some beautiful photos of the Hollowroot (a plant that is growing at the estate in a large quantity) and an owl.

We also went to see the goats Cor takes care of for his former employer because it is very close to his place. Most of the goats are pregnant and Cor has to give them extra food and check in every other day to see if there are little ones. We also went to see them yesterday but there were no kids to see yet. But today when we were on our way to Cor's mother we passed over the highway by the pasture where the 19 goats are staying and Cor thought he saw a little one. So we had to go and see if he was right. He was, because one of the goats gave birth to 2 little ones. They were probably born this morning and they were so cute!!! One of the other pregnant goats (not the one on the first photo) has very large nipples (they are almost reaching the ground!) and her little kids are doomed to die if they aren't been found soon after they are born because they won't be able to drink from the nipples hanging that low. If Cor finds them in time and none of the other goat mothers want to feed them, they are probably coming to stay at my place so that I can feed them with a bottle by hand. I think that will be fun to have 2 or 3 little kids to take care of and have them jumping around in my back yard. This particular mother goat really is HUGE (much bigger than the one on the first photo) and she probably has 3 kids carrying with her. I really hope Cor will find the little ones in time!

Edited: The 3 little kids are born in good health. The owner of the goats has taken the mother and her little ones to his farm where they will be fed with a bottle with the milk of the mother.

Pfff .... I know

2010-03-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

.... I'm a terrible blogger lately! It's just that I have so much on my mind that I can't keep up with everything.

Things are still not going so well with my son and after having so many people around the house for years now to help me with him, I really get tired of not having more privacy.

And then there are my parents (81 and 82) who need my attention. My dad's in hospital for a week now and before that he was staying in 2 different nursing homes for about 6 weeks. In the first one they didn't take good care of him and now he has a huge decubitus spot on his tailpiece. This is going to take months to heal and in the mean time he can't be operated on his hip which needs to be done ASAP because he's in a lot of pain. I'm going to see my dad as much as possible and I also try to help my mother.

My relationship with Cor is still blooming and it makes me feel blessed!! Even Zander is accepting/tolerating my relationship with Cor. We can finally sit down and have a meal together!!

When I'm not busy taking care of other people I try to work on my mixed media art projects.

I'm still following Suzi Blu's workshop Angels and I also started with the workshopThe Goddess and the Poet. It's really cool!!

photo 1: mixed media art portraits in my art journal

photo 2: detail of left face

photo 3: drawing with graphite pencil on paper and wood

photo 4: final result of mixed media art portrait on wood

photo 5: another mixed media art portrait on wood

Snow!!

2009-12-17T09:26:00.000-08:00

It has been snowing all day over here! In the afternoon we measured 16 cm of snow. I bought some Canadian snowboots at the Aldi and did some groceries for my parents. I took the sled to transport the groceries. It took me quit some time! Back home I decided I wanted to make some photos of the winter wonderland and went out again for a walk near my house.

Finished my angel!

2009-12-16T14:19:00.000-08:00

So this is the final result of my first angel in my new Moleskine art journal! I added a couple of more layers with paint, lettering, stamping, ribbon and stars.

For the last couple of days I'm working on 2 angel paintings on wood. One traditional angel and one primitive angel as Suzi likes to call them. The primitive one is like the "les petits dolls" class I did last year. I finished the woodburning and have to start painting. The traditional angel is halfway.
I won't have a lot of time painting in the next week or so because I'm making some changes to my house. I'm going to swop my bedroom upstairs with my scrapbookroom downstairs. It'll be a lot of work!! I'm so glad that Cor is coming to help me!! My son is going away for some time because he doesn't like to be at home when I have to make alterations to the house.

Angel

2009-12-06T10:18:00.000-08:00

I started with a new workshop from Suzi Blu a couple of days ago. It is all about Angels!! I love it!!! On Friday I went with Cor to Assen to buy some birch plywood, because I have to work on wood most of the time. But for starters I made some sketches in my large sketchbook and I'm working on a 2 page angel in my new Moleskine sketchbook. Suzi recommends them for using as an art journal and they really are great to work in.

So this is how my angel looked this morning before I started to work on it again. I hope to finish her tomorrow!

Note: If you want to buy a Moleskine sketchbook and you live in The Netherlands you can order them here.

2009-11-29T12:26:00.000-08:00

Besides making scrapbooking projects I also like to make other creative projects. Yesterday I went to a glass workshop and made this lovely hanger. It was a great workshop and I would love to make another hanger with an angel figure.

As you can see I have also finished the mini album about Sweden. Well I haven't finished it completely because I still have to write down our adventures on the right pages but I want to keep the journaling private.

I've had a stressfull week with my son. He refused to go to school, claiming that he felt sick. He didn't have a temperature though. After a couple of days (not going to school) he told me that school was very stressfull for him and that he had way too much home work to do. Because he didn't go to school and also didn't want to make his home work, I had to take away his computer and X-box (that's a rule we have here). Normally he gets very angry when I take away his favorite toys but this time he didn't care at all. So now I'm getting more worried about what is going on. It looks like a depression to me! I've already talked about my concerns with Hendri and we're going to decide about what to do next this Tuesday. I don't want to give him medication (he would refuse to take them anyway!) but we have to find something else that'll help him to overcome this depressive mood that he's in. Any suggestions??

Working slowly but steadily ....

2009-11-17T03:33:00.000-08:00

on my mini album about Sweden!! Just want to show you the pages I made thusfar!

It's going slowly because I get distracted a lot by the daily problems I'm having with my son (like getting him to school) and ofcourse my relationship. It takes a lot of time to be in a new relationship! But I love every minute of it and it feels so great to be with him. I sometimes just can't believe that I finally have a relationship with a man who accepts me for who I am and who even wants to deal with my autistic son, whom for now, doesn't want to have anything to do with him. But there are some signs that my son is caving in and that he will accept Cor before X-mas dinner at my parents! So, fingers crossed!!!

Finished the front cover of my mini album!!!

2009-11-10T00:08:00.000-08:00

I'm finally into scrapbooking again!!! Last night I finished the front cover of my mini album about Sweden. To make the pattern with the flowers I used a grip mat (anti-slip mat) I bought at a Dutch store called Action (I love to go there!) and I used red spray paint. For the green circles I used the inside of a roll of glue dots. To get white mesh I just painted the blue mesh I have and cut it in pieces. I sanded the edges of the photo and the outside of the cover.

I'm using a cheap album I bought at Action. I'm going to use all kind of different papers in fall colors and a lot of spray paint and paint, using the pattern of the grip mat, the circles and the mesh over and over again.

Pffffff, long time!!!

2009-11-01T11:56:00.000-08:00

It has been quite some time that I made my last blog post!! I just wasn't feeling up to give my blog my complete interest.
I'm doing fine now, but it has been a bit of a struggle with my son ever since Ad and Pia died. He didn't want to go to school and his behaviour towards me wasn't (and still isn't) very positive. But things are going better for me now. Much better even!! It's probably because I'm in love with a really nice man. He's my angel!!! I met him through a dating site a couple of months ago. I read his profile and invited him to read mine. We started to send eachother long messages and it felt so good that we soon made an appointment for a live meeting. It wasn't love at first sight but he felt very safe and after a while he found his way to my heart.
Two weeks ago we went on a vacation to Sweden together. We had a great time!!! The only negative thing about it is, that we can't be together all the time anymore. He's living in another part of Drenthe and has a dog that doesn't like cats, and I have a son who doesn't want to know anything about this new man in my life!! He told me that I betrayed him. For a long time he was the only man in my life and it hurts that his mother has found another love!! So Cor and I are being very cautious and aren't pushing him in anyway. Every change for someone with autism is difficult and it needs time, a lot of time, to accept this new situation.
When we were in Sweden I also met 4 Swedish ladies whom I met at Scrap-A-Licious in March of this year. It was nice to meet them again and to see the 2 week old baby of Meri! Cor and I (and the other 3 ladies) were invited at Stella's, who lives in a gorgeous house outside of Upplands-Väsby close to Stockholm, with deer walking around in her garden! Stella has a scrapbookstore at her house and I finally bought some new scrapbooking supplies!!!
Sweden is a huge country compared to the Netherlands and we were only able to see a few interesting things near Jonkoping where we stayed at the house of the mother of a former girlfriend of Cor. We went to a glass factory in Målarås where things are made of the artist Mats Jonasson. We also visited the national parc of Tiveden and a protected Swedish village, somewhere between Jonkoping and Gränna. It is so protected that I can't find a name on Google maps. It is very close to the hotel Gyllene Uttern. Edited: The name of the village is Rottle (with 2 dots on the o)!!!

We also visited Stockholm and went to see the old city (Gamla Stan) and the Vasa museum. I discovered a very nice Swedish shop called Indiska, where I bought some really nice clothes.

Paris!!!

2009-07-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

Last week I unexpectedly went to Paris with my best friend Martin. It was my idea as a matter of fact and he went along with it because he also needed a break, just like me!

So I made some arrangements for my son and we left around 4.30 pm on Tuesday. I looked on the web for two cheap hotels, wrote down the addresses and crossed my fingers that in one of them was still a room available. But in case we couldn't find a hotel we also took a tent (a quick up), matrasses and sleeping bags. We arrived rather late in Paris and booked a room in the cheapest hotel of the 2 hotels I had found on the web in the 18th arrondissement just behind the Sacre Coeur. We were lucky because there was just one more room available and the hotel was almost closing down when we arrived!!
It was a nice room with toilet and shower in the room. After we had put our luggage in the room, we went out for something to eat. There were still some small restaurants/bars open.

The first night I slept badly. Martin and I had to sleep in the same bed and I'm not used to that anymore.

On Wednesday we first went to Les Halles in the centre of Paris. We took the wrong direction and discovered a small parc on top of Les Halles. We stayed there for a while and took some photos of the two of us behind a hand and in front of a head.

At 12 o'clock we were supposed to be at Annik's. She is the lady I worked for as an au-pair in 1977 and 1978. I hadn't seen her in 20 years or so. Martin and I stayed at her place for about 2 hours and had lunch with her. It was nice meeting her again!!

After Annik, we went to the Sacre Coeur. We went upstairs with the funiculaire. On the stairs in front of the Sacre Coeur there were several amateur singers and jugglers performing their acts. We loved the jugglers a lot!! I made several videos of them. Loved the act with the crystal ball!! If you go to this link at You Tube you can see it for yourself!

After visiting the Sacre Coeur we went back to the hotel to rest a little bit and then went out again for diner which was nice and not too expensive. We also discovered a summons underneath the windowscreen wiper of the car! We forgot to pay for parking the car during daytime. It was only 11 euros though! In the Netherlands the summons are a lot bigger!!

The second night I slept a lot better (probably because I was exhausted from all the walking earlier that day)!

The next day we decided to take the car and drive to the Eifeltower and afterwards to Les Halles again. We both wanted to buy some nice (French) cd's and in Les Halles there's a large mediastore called FNAC.

We first wanted to buy a seal for the summons at a Tabac, but the lady of the Tabac told us not to bother about paying the summons. There isn't a law yet in France that makes it easier for the French police to get the money for summons from foreigners. So we decided not to pay the 11 euros.

We said goodbye to the hotel and went to the Eifeltower. We found a parking spot not that far away from the tower. We didn't go into the tower (too much people waiting and we weren't really interested in the view). When we were in a small parc near the Eifeltower we both put our red noses on and made some children laugh. I'm not really a clown (and I lost my nose everytime I smiled, which was funny in a way) but Martin is. I also had a good laugh about him and the things he did. We found out that during day time a lot of people weren't in the mood to laugh about his red nose, but at night people got more open and laughed a lot more and made jokes with him.

After visiting the Eifeltower we had to leave for Les Halles. It took us more than an hour to get there. Paris is really getting overcrowded with cars!! We parked the car in a garage underneath Les Halles (it costed us 8,50 euros for just a couple of hours, so you better go for the summons!!! But beware of areas where they can tow away your car!!!). Martin and I both find some nice cd's: 4 for 20 euros which is really cheap.

Before leaving Paris we went to a supermarket to buy something to drink and eat. It took us another hour to leave Paris and it wasn't even during rush hour!
We left Paris around 3 p.m. and arrived home around 1 a.m. We drove slowly (well Martin did, I didn't and therefore missed the turn off to Antwerp so we had to make a detour) and stopped a few times to rest and to eat.

And now I'm getting ready for a 2,5 weeks stay in the Vosges, also in France. I'm going camping near Hennezel and in the first week of August I will be following a workshop Rebalancing, which is a form of massage. Really looking forward to the workshop!

So see you in a couple of weeks!

Rough time!

2009-07-07T08:33:00.000-07:00

I received some not so pleasant news yesterday about the homeschool teacher, Pia, who got really very sick about 2 months ago. After they have kept her in a coma for 2 months she finally died last Sunday. I just couldn't believe it at first that she had died. So again, we have to say goodbye to someone who was dear to us!!

I also have to deal with the fact that the man I fell in love with has finally decided to stay with his friend. He told me so yesterday evening, so I really had a lot to take into yesterday!

And today it would have been Ad's 52nd birthday! I lit up a candle beside his picture and took the time to think about him and remember the good stuff.

There's also some good news to share with you: I'm finally going on vacation to France again!! I haven't been on a vacation abroad for years! I think it's at least 20 years ago that I have been in France. My French has become a little bit rusty, but because I have lived there for 1,5 years I'm sure it'll come back to me soon.
I'm going to stay in a Dutch Community Centre called 'De Natuurlijke Tijd'. The second week of my vacation I will be following a workshop Rebalancing, which is a form of massage, at another Dutch Community Centre called Ecolonie. I'm really looking forward to this.

I haven't been able to scrapbook for a long time now. I think there's too much going on in my life right now. I feel restless and leave the house very often to see my friends. The other thing is that I really need to get rid of some stuff that I piled up in my house. This also makes that I don't feel comfortable. But for now I can't find the courage to get started. Maybe after my vacation in France....

Exciting week!

2009-06-22T01:33:00.000-07:00

Last week was an exciting one!
On Wednesday I went to a concert of Deva Premal and Miten in Almere with some of my best friends from the Spiritual Centre at Zevenhuizen. We had a great time and the concert was magnificent!!! I also loved hearing Manose playing the flute. And after the concert I was in the opportunity to tell him so in person when he was helping out to sell some of his cd's. He was very enthusiastic in wanting to hug me, so I was moved by that. He gave me his signature and when I asked him which of his cd's he wanted to recommend me, he looked me in the eyes and then picked up one of his cd's and told me to buy that one because it would be good for my heart!! And he's right: the music on this cd really touches my heart and brings so much peaceful thoughts into my head. Love to listen to it!!!

This is a video I made during the concert. Great song called: Four Angels.

And this is a video from Manose playing the Mermaid Song.

Another video from Manose playing Rising Spring.

That same day I also got exciting news from the guy whom touched my heart a while ago and who told me that I had also touched his. But at the time he still was in a relationship and he didn't want to leave his friend. But recently everything changed and he now is a free man.
Last Saturday we had our first date and there was so much love in the air that at times I thought I was walking on clouds. We are taking it slowly though. Our first date however felt great and loving and hopefull!!!

You could say that the Universe is taking good care of me!! Or maybe it is because I'm taking good care of me now?!

Finally back!! Long story.

2009-06-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

I'm finally back!! I can't believe it already has been one month ago that I posted the news about the sudden death of my son's father and my ex.
It has been a very intensive month!

First we had to say goodbye to Ad. That took a while, because first his sister had to arrive from New Zealand. She took her 2 daughters (17 and 12) with her. We had to wait for her because Ad asked her to be his executor the last time she came over to see her brother 1,5 years ago. So, 10 days after his death we held a small service after which he got cremated. Although at first Zander told me he didn't want to see his dad lying in the coffin, he changed his mind and walked beside me to say goodbye to his father. He also watched me and his aunt helping the undertaker to close the coffin after the service. We asked him if he wanted to help us but that was too much for him, but he stood there watching us. I'm very proud of my son that he dared to watch his dad. I wasn't able to do that at that age!
Zander and I only arrived the day before the service and we left the day after, leaving his aunt, at her own request, with all the things she had to do.

About a week later she and her daughters came over to see us and we spend an afternoon shopping in Groningen. They brought a rug from Ad's house Zander had asked for, some clothes and shoes of his dad, some dvd's and all the pictures of Zander Ad had put in his home (all things he didn't asked for). But his aunt promised him he would get the new computer Ad had just bought before he died. And for me there was the 'wooden' floor, Zander and I had put in last Summer.
But last week she suddenly changed her mind and send me an e-mail in which she told me that she thought Zander had gotten enough from his father these last couple of years (?) and that she would take all of Ad's stuff that she could use to New Zealand! So all Zander inherated from his dad are the few things mentioned earlier.
There is nothing legal I can do about her decision because Zander carries my name and never was recognized as Ad's son (we weren't married at the time of his birth and decided together that Zander would carry my name. If Zander got recognized as Ad's son he would automatically get his father's name.) and his dad failed to make a last will in favour of his son. Very painful is the fact that 9 days before Ad died, he told Zander that he would inherate all his belongings in case he died. Zander repeated that in front of me when I came over to pick him up at his dad's place after he had spent the May holiday there.

When I received Ad's sisters e-mail ofcourse I tried to persuade her to change her mind but she wasn't willing to. She wrote that she would have nothing to do with me and Zander anymore. At first I couldn't believe that somebody could do something like that to a child, to a child with autism even. But she did and there's nothing I can do about it than except it.
That same day I decided I wouldn't waste any energy about her decision. If she believes she's doing the right thing than so be it!! This is something she has to live with for the rest of her live. I've let it go and send her my love through the Universe.

This all happened last Wednesday early in the morning and just before my son had to leave for his community service from school at 10 o'clock. Well he didn't go because suddenly he felt sick and he stayed in bed for a couple of days. It wasn't a good time to tell him about his aunt's decision so I told him last Friday when he felt much better. Just before I wanted to tell him the bad news he told me he felt sick in his stomach. I'm sure he felt that there was something wrong that Wednesday morning after I received his aunt's e-mail at 9.30 am and that he also sensed that the news I wanted to tell him on Friday was bad news. Kids with autism seem to have a 6 sense for picking up that kind of stuff! It's not the first time I noticed this with my son!

It's quite a story, isn't it?! But we are doing fine and in a way I'm grateful that this happened. I now know that I'm capable of let go and be compassionate in not so pleasant circumstances. The thing is that while Ad's sister was here in Holland she received news about her husband who was taken to hospital a few days after his daughters arrived home again (they traveled home without their mom). I don't know what's wrong with him but I felt she was really upset and not herself when she made the decision about the computer. It's not an excuse but people do strange things when they live in fear and not in love.
I want to live in love and peace and not in fear and hatred, so that's why I'm capable of letting it go. And you know what, because I'm doing this my son also is handling this situation very well. Sure he was angry at his aunt and he told me that he never wants to see her anymore, but for now he also decided that it's okay. I'm so proud of him!

Rest In Peace

2009-05-16T15:32:00.000-07:00

Today we received the sad news that my son's father past away in his sleep. He was only 51 years old.

He had severe lung emphysema and diabetes, but he died of heart failure.

Get well soon card and Krishna Raj

2009-05-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

We received some disturbing news the other day about one of our favorite personal coaches of my son. She has been taken to hospital last Friday night after having a fit of epilepsy. At first I was afraid she had some kind of brain tumor, but after they thoroughly examined her the doctors told her husband and children that she has a herpes virus in the brain. She's really very sick and it's uncertain how she will come out of this illness. She's still in ICU where they have to keep her asleep because she was very restless and pulled out all the tubes for medication and food over and over again. Her daughter just phoned me and told me that her mother is doing a little better now.

I made her a get well soon card and we all signed it (Zander, me and the other personal coaches).

I'm also sending her lots of love and positive energy every day!!

Last Tuesday I went to see Krishna Raj in Groningen. He's one of the teachers of the Oneness University in India. He told us about Oneness and why it is important to be totally in peace with oneself and to love oneself completely! After his speech he gave us a blessing which I felt very strongly.

Wonderful weekend!

2009-04-28T05:18:00.000-07:00

My weekend away was wonderful!!! It was all about meditation including workmeditation and walk meditation and to live in the present or mindfulness. I have met some very nice people and especially one person has touched my heart. I hope to tell you more about that very soon!

I also celebrated my 52nd birthday on Sunday with all those nice people. That felt very special!! Before the program started at 7.30 am I had to stand in the middle of the circle and they all sang Happy Birthday to you and than gave me a big group hug. I just love hugs!!!

I had brought some things from home to make 2 cakes and prepared these cakes during my workmeditation. The recipe is from the Fit for Life diet from Marylin Diamond. It's not an ordinary cake which you have to bake in the oven. The bottom is made with nuts, seeds and dried fruits and the filling is with fresh strawberries and bananas. On top there is some rasped (?) coconut. It's really a very yummie cake!!!

I was home around 6 pm and at 7 my parents came by to congratulate me. And later that evening some other neighbours and friends also came by with congratulations and presents. Because the weather was very nice we could sit outside on the terrace. When it got dark I put on some candles and lit on a fire. It was a great and special 52nd birthday!! A birthday I won't forget, that's for sure!!!

And yesterday I had to bring my son to his dad in Utrecht by train. He's going to spend a whole week with his dad! So, I'm free to do whatever and whenever I want to do! I'm going to have some fun this week!!! Planning on returning to the spiritual centre on Thursday evening and maybe sleep over there and attend another activity the next day. Looking forward to it!!!

On the photo you can see the spiritual centre with the huge garden and pond. This photo was taken very early in the morning and it was raining a little bit. The rest of the weekend we had wonderful weather with lots of sun!!

Mindfulness

2009-04-24T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm almost leaving for the weekend!!! I'm going to attend a course about Mindfulness which is held in the spiritual centre in Zevenhuizen. It's a great place to be for a weekend. I've already attended another course overthere in february.
Have a nice weekend!!!

New Art Journal page

2009-04-19T02:51:00.000-07:00

Edited: my third AJ page was picked by Corinne Delis for the Catwalk at SIStv!!

Just finished my third Art Journal page! I'm still using the deer motif.

There are 11 layers on this page. For the flowers on the bottom of the page I used the top layer of a napkin.

The written journaling says:

Deer ......

So gentle and loving ......

You are the flower of kindness ......

An embrace from afar ......

Almost leaving for a Satsang meditation afternoon at a spiritual centre nearby, which I attend every third Sunday of the month. Meeting some very nice people and getting and giving lots of hugs!! LOVE to go there!!!

Birthday card for my dad!

2009-04-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

My dad turned 81 today! I went there this morning to give a helping hand. At 81 (my mother almost 82) my parents aren't that mobile anymore.

Made my dad a birthday card with BG and some Prima flowers. The tag is selfmade.

A new Art Journal page.

2009-04-14T12:31:00.000-07:00

Finished a new Art Journal page already 2 days ago. I'm still working with the Deer motif and the word gentleness. I suppose it's my theme for this particular moment in my life!

When I went for a walk yesterday afternoon I saw one deer in a secluded meadow. I must be making progress in being more gentle with myself, because it was only one deer and not 2 or 3 as it has been the case in the past! ;-) The deer was looking at me for a long time (and I was looking at her). I think there was a distance between the 2 of us about only 15-20 meters. When I started to move she just calmly turned around and disappeared into the bushes between 2 meadows.

On this page I've worked with several layers (about 11). I also made a gel transfer with an ink jet copy of a deer in a green meadow. The journaling is a quote from Saint Francis de Sales and says: When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.

Sometimes it's better to do nothing and just wait and see how things are evolving!!

Yesterday I had a splitting headache. I'm having my period and the last couple of times I noticed that I always have a splitting headache on the second or third day of my period. I think it must be caused by the menopause hormones! I'm still very regular though and I'm not noticing any other inconveniences, so I'm just fine with having a headache once a month. It is just for one day!!

Because of the headache I wasn't in the mood of working on a new page for my Art Journal, but I did some preliminary work: I just glued all the pages of the book I chose to be my first Art Journal and made several sections of 5 pages (10 book pages glued together). I also want to gesso all of these pages so that I don't have to wait whenever I feel inspired!!

My first Art Journal page!

2009-04-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Now that all my projects from SAL are ready it is time to start something new!

I decided I wanted to follow the online Art Journaling classes from Dina Wakley. I loved the spray painting technique she taught us at SAL and heard people talk very positive and with enthusiasm about her Art Journaling 102 classes.

First I had to decide about what I'm going to use as an Art Journal. The paper has to be thick enough for (spray)paint without buckling up too much. Because I like to work on a small surface I decided I wanted to use an old book. The paper in old books is thicker than the paper in modern books and you can buy great old books for just 50 eurocents at thrift shops. But because I thaugt the paper was still too thin I glued 2 pages together using an acrylic bookbinder. You have to make sure that there aren't any bubbles with air in between the pages and that you let it dry completely before using gesso or (spray)paint on the pages!!

I have just finished my first art journal page and it turned out just great!

Now that I know that it is possible to use an old book as an Art Journal I have to decide how I want my journals to look like from the outside and if I'm just tearing out a part of the pages or that I use the technique Martha Bonneau taught us at SAL and then use the bind-it-all. I think it will be the latter because it allows me to work on single pages which will be much easier if I'm also going to sew on the pages.

My first art journal page is about applying gentleness into my life. I tend to be hard on myself (and others) when I (they) make mistakes. For the last couple of weeks when I went out for walks near my house it often happened that I saw some deers. Even in the middle of the day, which is a very unusual time for deers to show themselves.

Native Americans believe that animals that cross your road try to tell you a message. Actually it's a message from the Great Spirit (God).

One day I saw 3 deers at the same time. I was particularly very judgmental about myself that day and knew right away that I had to apply gentleness and loosen up a bit.

The motif I used for my page is a deer that I scanned from a children's coloring book. I used three different colors of spray paint (eggplant, wild plum and butterscotch). I outlined the deers with four different colors of watersoluble wax pastels (pink, orange, purple, old rose). In one deer I used a stamp (a text bloc about journal/journey from the Tim Holtz collection). To finish I used some aquamarine acrylic paint and a piece of corrugated cardboard as a mono stamp. Also added some words with my Pilot DVD writer.

I'm sure I can work on this page even some more but I like it for now.

Final SAL project!!

2009-04-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

Finished my final project from Scrap-A-Licious: Revlie's mini!!!

I made mine about Imagination and a little girls dreams. I'm still dreaming about living near the beach!!

I haven't been feeling very happy lately and have been down with a nasty flew for almost a week now. Today I'm feeling a bit better though, but on Tuesday I also got some back problems. I was trying to fill the washing machine and while bending over I felt this horrible pain and almost couldn't get up straight again. So for a couple of days now I really look like an old lady when I try to stand up and walk (it's really hilarious to watch!!).

Besides the not so funny stuff that's going on right now, we also got some good news yesterday about my son and his troubles with school and the cab!

From now on my son doesn't need to go to school on Wednesdays anymore. On Wednesday he can have a homeprogram. It allows him to recuperate a bit from all the stress (overload of stimuli in a school environment) halfway through his school week.

He is also going to be transported by another cab which will arrive at 7.45 am.

It's because of our family case-manager that all these positive transformations are made possible! Just one call and everything was settled.

Well not entirely because something went wrong this morning.

The old cab driver came along at 7.35 am. Because we expected a cab arriving at 7.45 am my son wasn't ready yet. I explained the cab driver what was going on and told him I had to call the central about what to do. While I was talking to the guy from the central (who knew nothing about a change), I saw the cab driver getting nervous and ticking on his watch. I went to our front door and told him I was talking to the central and that he just had to wait a bit longer. But than he got angry and left. I told the guy from the central and he immediatly called the cab driver and told him to get back and pick up my son. When he returned he was very irritated and was complaining about us. That was it!!! Enough is enough!!! I exploded!!! And when I explode, I really EXPLODE!!!! hahahaha

So, I told him exactly what I was thinking about is rude manners and about him complaining about Zander being late but that it was only because HE forgot to tell us that he could be picked up 7 minutes later for the last half year or so. It didn't impress him much because he was making this move with his hand (fuck you) behind the bushes in my direction. I made the same move in his direction and also said it out loud because he wasn't looking in my direction (the door of the cab was closed by then, so I don't think the kids hear me say it!).

I felt/feel really great after this explosion. Something heavy is now out of my system.

The family case-manager is now working on finding out what went wrong this morning, because yesterday they assured him (not once but 3 times) that my son would be picked up by another cab starting today.

Edited:

Sad news!!! The family case-manager came over this afternoon to tell me that there isn't another cab that can transport my son to school! The guy that told him yesterday that there was, wasn't even allowed to make the kind of promises he did. So that's a big bummer!!!

The good news is that the cab driver has to make his excuses to me and to my son about his behavior!!

My son told me that after they had left this morning, the cab driver was on the phone with the guy from the central I also had spoken to earlier this morning. The cab driver was complaining about my behavior and that I had made the fuck you sign to him (not telling ofcourse that he started) and that I had been calling him an idiot. But the guy at the central asked him if he had said anything to me first before I got angry. Ofcourse the cab driver told him that he didn't. But then my son heard that the other guy told the cab driver that when he was on the phone with me earlier, he could hear him talk to me in an agressive manner and that he shouldn't have done that.

Although I'm not happy with this outcome, I'll have to deal with this situation and make the best of it and so does my son!

The family case-manager also told me that I have to apoligize also for my behavior today, but only to please the cab company and the cab driver, show them my good will, blablabla. He's still 100% behind my outburst!!!

Vintage stuff!

2009-04-04T07:29:00.000-07:00

Bought some vintage stuff at the local recycle store/thrift shop!! I found a bingo game with wooden numbers for just 50 eurocents!!! I also found some old lotto games and some old schoolbooks with photos from the 1950's or 1960's.

I still don't feel very well. Slept in late today: 12.30 pm. Had to do some groceries though and went outside for a bit. Now I'm feeling tired again and I would love to go to my bed. Promised my son we would make a pizza today so I have to wait. Still have to do the dishes from yesterday because I felt to miserable to do them.

The schoolcab company guy phoned yesterday and he told me that the cabdriver will come over to our house at 7.35 am now, starting next Monday. The cab driver will wait for 3 minutes and then take off if my son isn't ready! No apologies or what so ever from the cab driver because of his rude behavior! My son told me that the cab driver told him in the cab that I didn't understand what his job was about but that I gave the impression that I knew better then him. He also told me that the cab driver was driving like crazy to catch up the lost time (80 km where 50 km are allowed and 100/120 km where 80 km are allowed!!). He told me that after I spoke to the guy from the cab company so I'm not finished with him yet!!

I'm also going to make a call to the section of our municipal that is responsible for the school transport of special needs kids. Maybe they can help us with another solution!

What I haven't told you yet is, that my first not so pleasant conversation with the cab driver last Thursday was about Zander being late all the time and him having autism. The cab driver told me that Zander was just playing with me and he (the cab driver) knew exactly what I as a mother should do about this problem!!! ARGHHH !!!! I hate people who know nothing about autism that seem to know exactly how to handle my son!! I told him that too!! I think he wasn't very pleased with my answer! The thing is: he does exactly what he is accusing me off. The only difference is that I know exactly how much time it takes to go to Zander's school and that he drops the kids off way to early. Zander told me that last Friday he was at school at exactly 8.10 am and they left here around 7.35 am. So if they would leave from our house 15 minutes later there would be enough time to be at school in time, even if they got in a traffic jam! I really don't understand why he has to be at school that early!!

Martha's wall hanging project.

2009-04-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

Just finished Martha's project from Sunday at SAL: a cute vintage wall hanging!! Hers was called Out on a Whim but I changed the title into Not just any girl!
On the photo I used for this wall hanging I'm about 6 or 7 years old. It's around that age I got confused about who I was. I wasn't sure that I was loved because I wasn't feeling happy at home nor at school. I got the impression that I wasn't okay like the way I was, that I had to change to be excepted by my parents, the school teacher, the other kids ....
If only I'd had a person in my life that would have said right then: You're not just any girl, you're unique and your special just as you are!

I'm not feeling very well at the moment. I hope I won't get sick!! I tried to eat something this morning and almost vomited. My intestins also aren't working properly and I still feel tired! I have an appointment with the Biophotones therapist later today, so I hope he can do something for me.

I also have had (again) a not so pleasant talk with the schoolcab driver early this morning. When he arrived a little bit after 7.30 am he told me right away that he wasn't planning on waiting longer then 2 minutes (they're officially allowed to wait for 2 minutes, but because Zander is never ready he always had to wait longer then those 2 minutes). But because he was late this morning Zander was ready and walked to the cab. Then the cab driver told me that Zander should be ready at 7.32 am. I made a remark about that the whole year long he told us that Zander should be ready at 7.25 am, so why the sudden change? I got really confused when he told me with an angry voice that whole year long it had been 7.32 am, but that he came earlier because Zander was always late. That really got me confused and ennoyed, because Zander's pick up time has ALWAYS been 7.25 am from the beginning! It was he who told me this specific time the first time he came over. At that moment he didn't know yet that my son has problems with being on time! When I confronted him with that he got angry and said that "we" always make trouble and that he is fed up with us! Well, I'm totally fed up with him!! Especially because I now know that Zander had been on time whole year long and that all the complaining he did about Zander not being ready at 7.25 am wasn't justified. Zander always has been ready at 7.32 am!!! URGHHH
I called the company he works for and made a complaint about his behavior. I almost never complain but this time I feel a great injustice is done to me and my son!
Then I got even more confused because I learned that my son could be picked up even later (like 7.40 am) because he arrives way to early at school (between 8 and 8.10 am) and has to wait untill 8.45 am before classes start (which is way to long for a boy with autism like my son!!). Yesterday the driver told me that he wanted to be at school around 8 am to avoid the traffic jams. But today I found out that that is not a reason for a driver to pick up the children that early! The guy I spoke to on the phone is going to have a conversation with the driver and is phoning me back later today or this weekend. The driver will probably hate me from now on, but I don't care, as long as he's not projecting his anger on my son and make his stay in the cab miserable (some drivers do that!!). Big sigh!

Another SAL mini album finished!!!

2009-04-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Today I finished another mini album from the SAL weekend! This was a workshop given by Birgit Koopsen. Thanks to Marit, who found my 3 missing home pages in one of her kits and returned them to me earlier this week, I was able to finish it! So I'm glad I have this blog and that she came over here and found out about my missing pages. Thank you Marit!!!

I only have 2 SAL projects to go! I haven't decided yet which one will be next on my list. Maybe I'll go for the wall hanging from Martha because Revlie's mini is a lot of work. Well you'll see!! Surprise, surprise!

Colorful me!!

2009-04-02T02:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening I finished another SAL project: Corinne's mini album!

For this one we had to paint the blackboard album with a pearly paint dabber and then use different colors of alcohol ink with the Adirondack. Then there was magic mesh, grunge board and white letter stickers in the kit.

Ofcourse I totally messed up the album by putting the stamps up side down, so I had to make new holes in the album. You can't see them on the photos because I photoshopped them!

It was fun to make this album and I'm planning on making another one with these same techniques!

Otherwise I'm feeling really tired today. I'm having a lot of stress because of my son. For the last couple of weeks he didn't go to school because he said he felt sick. But as his mom I knew there was something else going on. Finally, last week he told me that going to school is very stressful. The other students are loud and they do things he doesn't like. There are only about 120 students in this school and I know that when they have their breaks that the teachers make sure that it is save and that there are no fights, but still it is too much for my son.

I was very happy when he went back to school last Monday, but yesterday he didn't want to go to school again because it was April Fools Day and he hates that. Today, again, I had a hard time to get him out of his bed and to school. When he had left with the schoolcab at 7.30 am I went back into bed because I felt exhausted.

Sometimes I really wish that there was a man around to back me up!! My son is getting bigger and stronger and I'm getting smaller and weaker (hahaha). Some day I won't be able to handle him anymore and that's the moment I will have to let him go and find him another "home". A safe place where they know how to handle his autism! For now I'm trying to get rid of the stressy feelings by scrapbooking!!! Oh yeah, the sun is shining very brightly today, so I'm also going to sit outside catching up some tan!!

Who, me!

2009-03-30T03:54:00.000-07:00

Finished the mini album from Dina's workshop on Sunday! I think it turned out very cute. I haven't journaled it yet. Waiting for inspirational words!

Still 4 more projects to go: 3 mini albums (Corinne, Birgit and Revlie) and a wall-hanger (Martha)!

Does anyone know the name of the young woman that was sitting next to me on Sunday? I'm still missing the 3 pages of the black mini book from the workshop given by Birgit and I think she probably took them by mistake. She introduced herself to me but I'm really terrible with names! I know she lives somewhere in Noord-Brabant and that she has a small boy. So if you know her please tell her I'm looking for her!

My scraproom when work in process!!

2009-03-29T12:11:00.000-07:00

This is how my scraproom looks right now!! I'm working on Dina's mini which was a workshop given on Sunday. I almost finished it so come back tomorrow!

Busy, busy ... and Earth Hour!!

2009-03-28T08:15:00.000-07:00

I'm really busy finishing all of the Scrap-A-Licious projects! Yesterday evening I finished the layout with the ecoline background from Corinne's workshop on Sunday and today I worked on Martha's altered book. I used some old family photos and photos I found with the help of Google images. I loved working on this project!! This is something I want to do more often and so I bought some old Dutch children's books at our local recycle store (thrift shop?) for only 50 eurocents a piece!!

Today it is Earth Hour at 8.30 p.m. (your local time). So dim your lights for just one hour put on some candles and make a difference!! If you don't know what Earth Hour is, watch here!!

Finished yet 2 other layouts

2009-03-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

I'm really busy finishing all the projects I started at Scrap-A-Licious! Having so much fun and feeling happy because I got my mojo back!!!

I love both layouts! The red letters on the Dracula layout weren't in the kit. I got brown letters and didn't like that color for this layout, but I used them as a template for the letters I cut from some red felt.

On the Giggle layout I sewed a lot of french knots, which was one of the techniques Martha taught us. Well, I already knew how to make a french knot because I used to embroider a lot in the past. I also love the fabric flower Martha taught us. Really easy to make!!

Also went to see the Biophotones therapist yesterday. I was feeling really tired after the weekend and my muscles were aching a lot more too. The therapist checked my system and he identified that again I was suffering from a spin-inversion. This time it was really severe because he had to run the program 5 times before my energy levels were up again. At first we thought I got the spin-inversion because of the stressed last couple of months, the dancing I picked up again, some school problems with my son, Scrap-A-Licious .... but than he found out that I went to a solarium a couple of times and he told me that a solarium is really bad for people who are very sensitive for any kind of radiation. So for now no more solarium for me!! I hope the warm and sunny weather will start soon so that I can pick up some more tan in the real sun!!!

Spray paint layouts.

2009-03-25T10:27:00.000-07:00

Finished 2 layouts from Dina's spray paint workshop on Friday.

I loved working with spray paint and bought 8 bottles of spray paint at one of the stores at Scrap-A-Licious. But beware ... it is quite messy!! I first have to buy something to cover my beautiful scrap table.

Dina was really funny when she showed us her techniques. She kept saying things like "oops" and "be at peace" when something went 'wrong'.

Finished cards workshop Corinne

2009-03-25T05:00:00.000-07:00

Still feeling tired today but I managed to finish the 2 cards from Corinne's workshop on Friday. The 2 yellow stars weren't in the kit but are from my own stash. I love how the cards turned out!!

When I saw some of the pages of a children's book Martha used for her projects, I knew I had a children's book quite similar to the one she used. Guess what ... I was right!! Look at the lovely old images of my book! I found it in a local recycle store and bought it for 50 eurocent!!

Scrap-A-Licious 2009

2009-03-24T10:55:00.000-07:00

Edited: Is there anyone who has more black home pages of Birgit's workshop in her possession then she should have? I found out I miss 3 pages of the mini album, the ones with the windows and the back. So please let me know if you have found them!

Let me tell you first that I had lots of fun at Scrap-A-Licious in Veghel this past weekend!! Make sure you'll be there next time! The kits were just great and worth while every penny! You can still buy some of the kits and even do something for a good cause. Just go to Monique Helfrich's blog over here.

Scrap-A-Licious started on Friday afternoon and went on till Sunday afternoon. There were 4 workshops by different teachers every day. It was sorry to hear that Nancy van de Berg couldn't come on Friday, but Corinne replaced her and had made some very nice cards.

On Friday, Saturday and Sunday there were several shops with scrapbook supplies. Of course I couldn't resist buying some new stuff to work with. I bought several colors of spray ink and some new stamps. Saturday evening there was a crop with a lottery. I won 2 prizes! I didn't stay till the end because I felt really tired.

On Sunday I bought some more scrapbook supplies and I did a make and take at the stand of Joan Gevaert, making a metal foil embellishment. I thought that was fun and so I bought the tool set and some metal foil. Joan has some great workshops coming up soon working with this technique, so check it out! (you have to register though to be able to see some photos of the projects!) I really like the Gothic frame!!!
Because Birgit was kind enough to offer me a ride back home (she's living nearby my village) I had to leave early and wasn't able to take Martha's workshop. I took some photo's of her layout though and Corinne is also making a PDF of her workshop (all of the workshops actually!!).

But when we were still working on Dina's project somebody came to tell Birgit that some hooligans smashed the window of her car and took out the build-in navigation system. So that was a big bummer!! With the help of her husband, who looked on the internet for a company nearby Veghel that could repare the window immediately, Birgit and I drove to Heesch. Luckily the people from the conference center where Scrap-A-Licious was held, helped us with covering up the broken window so that it wasn't that cold in the car. In Heesch we had to wait for over an hour before we could finally return home.

I felt exhausted and I still feel exhausted!! But I really wouldn't have missed it! Learned some new great techniques and met some really nice people. There even were some woman from Sweden and Israel. Some of them stayed over in the same B&B in Veghel as I did and we had breakfast together. I have the links of the blogs of 2 of the woman, Jenny Bergvall and Meri, so go and check them out. They really make nice stuff!!

I only managed to finish one project (Jo Anne's) of the 12 workshops. I know, I'm a very slow scrapper!! To give you an impression of the weekend and all the projects made by the different teachers, I made some mosaics. Just click on the photo to enlarge it!

Ramses Shaffy & Liesbeth List

2009-03-19T08:57:00.000-07:00

Love these songs from Liesbeth List and Ramses Shaffy, two famous Dutch artists!!!
First video when they were young and second video was taped recently.

Namasté

2009-02-17T04:14:00.000-08:00

Just want to share this video with you.
Namasté

New layout!!!

2009-01-23T10:17:00.000-08:00

Just finished this layout with the same photo of me I used on the previous layout.

This time I used 1 pair of Angel wings. I cut it in half to be able to spread the wings. I love how it turned out!!

Journaling says: Message to self: Go for it girl!!! Listen to your heart! You deserve some happiness & love in your life! xoxo

Finally a new layout!!!

2009-01-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

Finished this layout this evening! I started it a couple of weeks ago, worked on it yesterday at Birgit's crop but wasn't inspired at all. We talked most of the time. Heidi and I hadn't been to a crop at Birgit's since April last year!!! So there was a lot to talk about!

Well, this evening I finally decided about the title (yesterday I had just put down the words: woman in love) and the journaling. I also put the angel wing (Xenos) on the right.

I love this photo of myself. It reflects so beautifully how I felt these last couple of months and how I still feel!!

Heidi came over to my house yesterday afternoon so that we could scrapbook together again. We didn't do much. I explained her some things about working with Scrapblog and Blogger and she learned me some new tricks on the computer. I also looked for photos for an old project Heidi and I started last year which we both still haven't finished!!

Full moon and another day on the ice.

2009-01-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

From Saturday on Sunday it was Full moon (see the photo I took around 11 p.m.). I decided I wanted to do a moon ritual. In the old days - a very long time ago, when we were still living in a matriarchal society - woman were living according to the moon cycle (see picture with explanation). They felt that the Full moon gave them strenght and they thanked her by raising their arms to the moon. So that's what I did too, sucking in the powerful energy of the moon. Okay, I just pretended. I felt a bit awkward standing there with my arms raised and feeling nothing. Although it was calming just standing there in the light of the moon. I suppose it has to grow on me! I also put a bottle with water outside for a couple of hours and drank the water that evening and the next days.

Yesterday I went back to the lake for another tour on skates. This time there were also some people ice sailing, surfing and kiting! There was much more wind and at one point it was really hard for me to get forward. I was exhausted! I just made one tour around the lake and went home.

But it was fun to be able to skate on natural ice for a whole week!!!

Perfect day and weather for ....

2009-01-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

.... a tour on the lake!

This afternoon I went skating on the Paterswoldsemeer. It's a small lake not so far from where I live. My friend Ina lend me the skates of her daughter who has the same size of shoes. I first had to sharpen them at the store because they were a bit blunt!

There were a lot of people on the lake but it wasn't too crowded! It took me an hour or so to complete the whole tour all around the lake. I'm not a fast skater and I stopped several times to take photos and to eat, drink and rest.

I have never done something like this before because I was more of a figure skater, but I liked it a lot and maybe I will go back there (or to another lake) tomorrow! Zander doesn't like to skate so I went alone, leaving him at home behind his computer!

I also found out that today it is full moon and at the same time it was the largest moon at moon rice of this year. I was on the ice when the moon appeared and took some photos of it. At the same time there was the sun set in the West. Beautiful moment!!!

The last photo I took arriving back home just after sun set!

Because it's full moon I'm going to do a moon ritual this evening. I'll be doing it for the first time and still have to decide what I want to do.

I have just been reading a book written by Denise Linn called: Secret and Mysteries (in Dutch the title is quite different: De godin in elke vrouw = The goddess in every woman) where she writes about moon rituals. Never knew that the mooncycle is the most powerful cycle for woman!

When it's full moon it is time to finish unfinished projects. It's a perfect time to do things that require a lot of energy. Use your creative powers. Be lively and animated. Be happy!!!

Love this!!!!

2009-01-09T04:00:00.000-08:00

Wishing you all lots of love and hugs!!!

Snow and rain.

2009-01-07T06:30:00.000-08:00

Finally we got some snow over here in the North of the Netherlands! It didn't last for long! When I was at the skate-rink this morning it started to rain.

My friend Ina lend me her skates (we have the same size of shoes) and the skating went much better.

This morning there were a lot of kids on the skate-rink because one of the local schools (my son's old school) was there with all the kids for school races.

Freaking cold!!!

2009-01-06T09:05:00.000-08:00

It has been very cold last night and it still was very cold during the day: -8 Celsius!!

The weather was great though, lots of sun!!!

I went to the local skating-rink with natural ice (see photos) for a few rounds of skating before I had to go to the therapist. I felt very tired this morning and my body started to ache again like a couple of months ago. I called the therapist and was able to make an appointment for this afternoon. I'm very sensitive to spin-inversion and food poisening (which was the problem!). I almost never have diarrhoea when I have food poisening. I feel very tired in the morning and have problems with my neck (it feels stiff). In a couple of days I must start to feel better! The spin-inversion can be caused by a lot of things. In my case it could be the wireless internet!!

Yesterday, there was a lot of sun too and I took some photos during my daily walk.

And have you already noticed all the nice new widgets in the side-bar? You can get them for free at Buddhahands ! They have more to choose from but my side-bar isn't wide enough for the big ones.

Courageous me!!

2009-01-04T07:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to a Festival in Groningen called Festival.NU, alone!! I asked 2 friends to join me but they couldn't come. Normally that's for me a reason not to go because I feel too insecure. But this time I decided I wanted to go anyway.

The Festival started at 4 p.m. with several workshops you could choose from.

The first workshop I did was about intuitief drawing and oracle cards. That was fun to do!! The group was very large so there wasn't enough time to go deep into everybodies drawings, but at diner I was sitting at the same table as the woman that had given the workshop and she was kind enough to look at my drawing and make an interpretation.

The second workshop was given by a lady who has known Osho for real (she lived in his ashram in India) and was about Osho zen tarot and the No-Mind meditation. We had to choose 2 cards. One before the meditation and one afterwards.

My first card was called Totality. This tells something about living your live with complete attention and energy. Being total in whatever comes. Live in the NOW!!!!

The second card was called Courage. This tells something about growing into the person you want to be although life brings you a lot of hardship. There's no point fighting them or trying to avoid or deny them. You have to be courages enough to grow into the person you are meant to be.

The No-Mind meditation was fun to do. At first we had to dance. Then sit on the floor and release all the negative/positive things you had felt through out the day (or past) by using your voice. Somebody told me later that in the ashram in India people do this every evening for a period of 3 hours in a row!! And it seems that after a couple of weeks they start to feel empty and burden free!! Wow, I want that too!!

Diner was great!! The theme was India. We had a nice soupe and then rice with all kinds of vegetables, a chutney, dal and so on. As desert we had a brownie with some kind of pudding, creme and some slices of banana. It tasted delicious!!

After diner there were some other workshops to choose from. I choose the heart chakra meditation because I wanted to move and to get warm (it wasn't very warm in the building) and ready for the swing party afterwards.

The swing party was nice but I felt a bit lost and all alone because I didn't really know anybody.

So I hope next time one of my friends will join me!!

Today ....

2008-12-31T09:25:00.000-08:00

.... I went skating on natural ice with my friend Ina. Finally the ice of our local Ice club, called AOL-Gloep (= old decoy), was thick enough! The ice was great, very smooth. I don't have great skates but it was fun to make a couple of rounds on normal skates and then try out my old figure skates. I think they need to be sharpened because I couldn't make the figures I normally can make. We took a warm cocoa inside the cantine and when our hands and feet were warmed up again we made some more rounds.

After that Ina wanted to go and watch the young and older people of our village shoot the carbid cans just outside the village. This is a tradition that exists for a very long time over here and in some other regions of our country. You need an old iron milk can (or is it tin?), a piece of carbid, some water and fire. You put the carbid in the milk can with some water. Then you have to close the can with the lid that has to be made a bit wider so that you need to use a hammer to slam it in the can. After that you warm the back of the can with fire. The lid will explode off the milk can and that makes a very loud bang.

I never went to see the carbid shooting because Zander doesn't like hard noises, but because he's still with his dad I could go and watch this year. It's not really my thing, but it was fun! I even went home to get my camera and went back on my own to take some photos.

As you can see there's a lot of fog. I took these photos around 5 p.m. It was like that all day and it's even getting worse. Like last year we won't be able to see much of the firework at midnight!!

On the last photo you can see the lid of the can flying in the air.

I won't be alone on New Years Eve after all!!! When Ina found out I would be alone this evening she invited me over to her place.

Long walk and good talk.

2008-12-30T13:19:00.001-08:00

Today was yet another beautiful sunny day!!! It was really cold up here in the North of the Netherlands! At night it was minus 8 degrees Celsius.

After my heart chakra meditation, a late breakfast, some computer time, and finally was able to make an appointment for this evening with the guy I opened my heart for, I left the house around noon for my daily walk.

Today I took a complete other route. I even walked over several crop and grass fields to be able to walk in the sun most of the time and to cut short the very long walk. I stayed outside for more than 1 hour and a half!. I saw a huge buzzard in a tree and flying away when he saw me coming his way. I was able to make a photo while he was sitting in the tree with my 12x zoom, but it was too far away to make it a cool photo. You can see the buzzard in the middle of the first photo in this post. He's sitting on the lowest branch of the tree. Just click on it for a better view.

The light was great today: clear but also a bit hazy in the distance. I'm not sure if hazy is the right word but look at the photos I took and you'll understand what I mean.

On the last photo you can see some rayes of sun!

In the wood I felt the need to stand with my back against an oak. I later found out that standing with your back against an oak can give you strenght. And I just needed that for my appointment later this day!

Back at home my legs were all red because of the cold, but other than that I felt great and very calm. Those walks, being outside and connecting with nature are making me feel more alive but also less stressful! I'm so glad that the fibromyalgia and the chronic fatigue don't bother me anymore. A few months ago I wasn't able to make these long walks!

When I felt warm and comfortable again I went outside again to do some shopping for the days to come. I probably will be celebrating new years eve on my own and because I don't want to gain weight again after I've lost over 6 kilos the last couple of months (yeah, love can do that!!), I decided to only buy healthy foods. So no oil-dumplings for me this year!!

After a nice dinner (ratatouille with rice and a steak) I waited for my appointment reading in an Osho book about chakras and kundalini.

When he had arrived we soon started to talk about the things in our sudden break up, that were still confusing to me. It was a good and open talk. I now have all the answers and I feel that it's okay. It is time for me to let him go. I still love him though, so I will be feeling pain and sadness about the loss of a love relationship, but we can still be friends! End of a very short love story! But also the chance of a new beginning and new opportunities for me!

Another sunny day!!!

2008-12-29T06:17:00.000-08:00

I just love the fact that the sun is shining so brightly the last couple of days!! I went for another long walk this morning. Almost took the same path to be sure I was outside for an hour. Took some other photos near the fen. Look how low the sun is!! It was exactly noon when I took that photo.

Other than that I'm having a very lazy day!

Well, before I went out for that walk I did the heart chakra meditation. I do this meditation every morning for the last couple of days. It's a nice way to start my day and I really do feel more peaceful throughout the entire day!! Look here for the cd you need.

Sunny day!!

2008-12-28T04:48:00.000-08:00

It's a really sunny day today!!! I went for a long walk nearby my house this early afternoon. I stayed outside for more than an hour and keeping up a smart pace all the time! Took my camera with me just in case and was able to shoot some nice photos near a small fen (peat-moor?) in the woods.

Here's another thing I want to share with you.

Not so long ago I bought The Goddess Oracle from Amy Sophia Marashinsky. These are cards with all kinds of goddesses from myths, legends and sages that can bring you their wisdom.

One of the cards I picked not so long ago is Pachamama (Mother Earth) and this card asks me to connect more with the earth or nature. It will help me to heal. So this afternoon when I was all alone on a nice spot in the sun I made a prayer to Pachamama and asked her to help me heal.

Another card I picked is Brighid. To tell you the truth I already picked her twice! Brighid comes to inspire me. She asks me to live inspired because a life without inspiration is boring. That is soooo true!!! I already have been asking Brighid in a self-guided fantasy trip to inspire me. Not only in my daily life but also in scrapbooking. Because really, it has been way too long since I was able to sit down behind my scrapbooktable and be inspired to make something beautiful!!

I hope to be able to show you some scrapbook layouts soon!!!

Oh yes, I'm on Hyves now! So if you're a Hyver I invite you to be my friend. Just go here!!

Merry Christmas to you all!!

2008-12-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

I hope you have a nice day with your family and/or the people you love!!!

Zander and I are in Utrecht with his dad. We arrived on Monday. Ad and I did most of our Christmas shopping on Tuesday. Yesterday I did some last shopping and then went to see some old friends I had lost contact with years ago (like 19 years ago). I met them 31 years ago in Paris when Elise and I both worked there as an au-pair. She met her husband Kiwi (nickname) in Paris in 1977 and they got married in 1981. I spend some nice couple of hours with them and their 2 children (19 and 16). Elise and I talked about making a trip to Paris together. We both haven't visited Paris for years and we both would love to go there! It would be nice to be able to go there soon!

I'm not feeling the X-mas spirit this year. I suppose it's because the guy I talked about in my previous post has pulled back and just wants to be good friends. It hurts and makes me feel a bit down, because I still feel in my heart that he's the one I could grow old with! Have to let him go though and accept the fact that he's not ready yet or never will be ready to commit himself to me.

Blooming at 51!!

2008-11-29T08:46:00.000-08:00

There's a lot going on in my life right now. All very exciting stuff! I feel so much alive!

I'm not going to share every detail with you because some stuff is private and concerns others but lets say that there's love in the air!

Ever since I did the Biophoton therapy I feel great and I have so much more energy. Last week I went to see the therapist for the last time. Now I just have to go there maybe 3 or 4 times a year just for a check up. Because I have more energy I'm more interested in learning new stuff and going on an adventure or exploring the world. Isn't that just cool!!

Falling in love also has to do with the way I feel today and the last couple of weeks. I feel like a complete new woman. It's not just that I fell in love with this great guy but I also fell in love with myself and I'm finally in peace with the person that I am. For the record: I'm not having a relationship with this guy but there's something special between the two of us!

There's something you have to know about me to better understand where I'm coming from. I have been a victim of rape in the past, not once but 3 times! So my self esteem has been very low for a very long time. I was almost 20 when I was raped the first time. After I got raped the last time (11 years ago) I lost all interest in men or sexual intimicy. That changed when I fell in love and it changed even more about a month ago when I suddenly got through the message (it was more like a thought that suddenly popped out in my head from nowhere) that I had to look into Tantra. At that point I only knew of the existence of the word Tantra and that it had to do something with sex, but that was all. So, I bought this book about Tantra from Margot Anand: Tantra, a way to intimicy and ecstacy. There are a lot of exercises in this book that you can do on your own so that you learn to feel comfortable with your own body. I started dancing and looking in my eyes in front of the mirror every day. It was very strange in the beginning but after a couple of weeks I started to feel more and more comfortable and finally last Sunday I realised I have grown to really love myself and feeling comfortable with me and my body. Other people (friends and neighbours) have noticed it too.

So yesterday I went to the sauna for the first time in my life. A huge step for me to do this! My friend Ina and I decided some time ago to go to a Spa in Nieuweschans. A couple of weeks ago I told her I wasn't interested in going to the sauna but the new me decided she wanted to go there.

The Spa in Nieuweschans is about a 45 minutes drive from where we live. There's a source with salty water and we first stayed in this water (37 degrees Celsius) in an outdoor pool for about 30 minutes. It was very relaxing. After a stay in the lavender room and the restroom we had lunch and after that we went to the sauna.

Inside there were a steam sauna, a heat sauna and an infra red sauna, a lovely swimmingpool with a strong jet stream so you could swim up against it without moving forward. I thought that was cool.

There also was a place where you could warm your feet before you went into a sauna and a place where you could scrub your body. Upstairs there was a deck where you could rest in between the visits to the sauna. Outside in the garden there was another sauna. A really big one for 60 people or so! There were also cold showers and a plunge bath (?) with really cold water. The first time I just took a cold shower (in tiny steps) but after the second round I went into the plunge bath and after the plunge bath I even put ice shavings (?) all over my body. It felt great. There also was a hut tub outside and a cool place where you could sit next to an open fire. We didn't went there because there wasn't enough time. My friend had to be home at 4 o'clock so we had to leave after the second round.

What surprised me the most about this first visit to the sauna is, that it felt so normal to be around other naked people, men and women. In the past I felt really uncomfortable with the idea of other people looking at my naked body or me looking at their naked bodies.

So now I'm officially hooked on the sauna and almost can't wait to go there again!

Although it's not allowed to take photos inside the Spa I took a few just before we had to leave. I show you the only photo I dared to take from the outside pool.

A friendly German gentleman (Nieuweschans is very close to the German border so there are always a lot of Germans in the Spa) who arrived at the Spa when we left the building took a photo of Ina and me in front of the entrance of the Spa.

Another great thing that happened yesterday is that Ina and I decided to follow this course in Oriental dancing (Egyptian belly dancing). It'll start on the 9th of December in Groningen. The night before yesterday I tumbled accidently (or maybe not accidently but it just had to be this way) on this website. Because I have always had the desire to learn how to belly dance I was immediately interested. I told Ina about the belly dancing and she was also very interested. Lucky for us there was still room for new students. I hope I'll be able to make the moves!! If you click here you can watch Aina teach other women how to belly dance.

My Inner World

2008-11-17T13:01:00.000-08:00

The last couple of weeks I have daily visited the website My Inner World. This has been such a great inspiration to me and lots of good things have happened to me since the first day I started the guided journeys. It's as if I'm only attracting the good stuff right now. Everything is becoming so much clearer to me and I can better focus on the NOW.
If you register to this website you can follow the guided journeys and keep all the information you gather in your private journal.

The photo has been taken at the Citadel at Mycenae in Greece in 1978. I love this photo because it has something mysterious.

Tagged

2008-11-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

I was tagged the other day by Alice. I have to write down 7 facts about myself, either random or weird or both.

Than I have to pick 7 blogfriends and tag them too. But because all the people of the blogs I frequently visit have already been tagged, I just want you to ask to feel yourself tagged when you read this post.

These are the 7 facts about myself.

1. When I hang my wash I like to use only the same coloured clothes pegs on the same line and I always start with the blue ones.

2. I love to wear soft socks in bed.

3. After every scrapbook or other creative project I have to clear and clean my table.

4. I find it difficult to throw away things and that's why I have problems with storage in my small house. (I really need to work on that!!!)

5. I love buying books!!

6. My biggest wish is to live near the sea in a warm country.

7. I often loose stuff in my own house, especially paperwork! (Have to work on this one too!!)

(Picture: some paintings in my bedroom I have made a long time ago!)

Something to share with you

2008-11-01T12:39:00.000-07:00

This is a You Tube video of a performance by Jeremy Larson. He's Elsie Flannigan's boyfriend. I was curious about his music and found this. I think it's a great performance! He's so in to his music! You can watch other videos of Jeremy after this one is finished. I also love Make believe!
Don't forget to turn off my music list first.

55th wedding anniversary

2008-10-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

Today it was the 55th wedding anniversary of my parents. I made this canvas with their wedding photo as a present. They loved it!!

Look what I found!!!

2008-10-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today I went to our local recycle store and found this wooden case for records. It only cost me one euro!!!

I took off all of the old cover. Luckily that went very easy because it wasn't made of paper but of some self adhesive material. I have to repair the inside just a little bit. I have to take it completely out anyways, because I want to decorate the inside of the case as well. I'm not sure yet if I want to make it a scrapbook project or a mixed media art project.

I'm still busy reading and watching videos about Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth. At Oprah Winfrey's website you can watch a couple of videos of her and Eckhart talking about A New Earth. Really interesting!!!

Yesterday I went to Utrecht to pick up Zander and his friend Manuel. They stayed with Zander's dad during Fall vacation. When I arrived Zander was really in a foul mood. He constantly picked on me without me doing or saying anything. I tried not to react in the hope he would stop. But he couldn't stop himself (he also wouldn't listen to his dad), and so I decided to leave earlier than planned. In the train I sat a couple of seats away from him. At home he went to his room right away and he stayed there most of the time.

It makes me sad that he's picking on me so often. When he was younger we had a great relationship but nowadays ...... big sigh!!!

Finished my 2 goddesses!!

2008-10-18T08:13:00.000-07:00

Finished my 2 goddesses today!! I added a couple of more layers using gold leaf, little metal hearts, beads, rhinestones, stars, flocks, some thin paper with texture, darker paint (hair red girl) and at the end painted all over the surface with pearly paints mixing it with glazing medium.

Newest projects

2008-10-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday and today I worked on the 2 heads that I drew and wood burned on my exercise piece of berch plywood. First I colored (with water color and color pencils)and painted the heads. The paint has to be translucent.

After that I painted the hair and background. Drew in the wet paint with the back of a brush and added some glitter in the same color as the paint. Then stamped on the dry paint using distress ink.

For the girl with the blue background I made her top out of patterned paper and collaged it on the wood using mod podge.

On the red background I used a paper doyle as a mask with plum acrylic paint and a french lily stamp with antique gold metallic acrylic paint.

On the blue metallic background I added some small pieces of a paper napkin (only the top layer) using mod podge and added some silver acrylic paint using a piece of mesh (?).

I think I'm ready for a complete girl now. Can't wait to start!

Bike trip

2008-10-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

Today I went on a bike trip to a heath nearby where there's also a dolmen. It's only 10 km from my village. It was such sunny and warm weather today that I didn't want to spend all day inside the house. I left quit late so I had to stay closeby. I'm so glad I can make biketrips like this again!

I took my sketchbook for the Suzi Blu workshop and a book of Eckart Tolle (A new Earth) that I'm reading at the moment. I also took my patchwork blanket to sit on and of course my camera.

I first went to see a heath very close to my house. Somebody wrote about it's existance in a local newspaper this week. The heath was a bit of a disapointment because there was only sand and no heath at all. But the small path I took to go there was really beautiful because of the Fall colors.

When I arrived at the other heath (near Gasteren) I went to the dolmen right away and found myself a nice spot in the sun.

I started to read in A new Earth. I have just started to read it, together with a friend. He already read the book 4 or 5 times and is still having new insights every time he reads it. I read chapter 2: The ego, the current state of humanity (this is my own translation in English). My friend and I will be discussing this chapter next Tuesday. It's not easy to read and it's even harder to explain what I've read in English, so I won't do it, but let me tell you that I find it very interesting!!

I stayed on the heath for almost 1,5 hours, just reading, taking some pictures and drawing. It was very calming. Sometimes there were people walking nearby but it wasn't annoying.

On my way back home I stopped to take a picture of a brook called Drentse Aa and I also took a picture of me in front of the brook. There was a lot of wind so my hair looks like shit!

When I almost arrived at my village I saw a buzzard on a pole. I had to use my 12x zoom to get a better look at it. It was really far away and this was my best shot. You can see that the buzzard was looking right at me.

First sketches Suzi Blu workshop

2008-10-08T09:41:00.000-07:00

These are my first sketches I made for the Suzi Blu workshop. It's my homework for this week. Today I drew 6 new faces that I need to practice color shading. So that's what I'm going to do after I finished this post.

I also have to make a Healing Art Journal. I already started to work on it but I have been too busy the last couple of days to find the time to finish it.

Zander has been ill for the last 2 days. Just a sore throat, a head-ache and belly-ache. He will be going back to school tomorrow. He and I are doing much better these last couple of weeks!! All the people who work with him noticed it. He's doing so well at school and he has become more involved with his schoolwork. Today he told me that he asked one of his classmates in an e-mail to tell him about the homework he missed on yesterday. He did that all by himself!!! For a kid with autism - and maybe especially for Zander - that's awesome!!! I'm so proud of him!!

Workshop Suzi Blu

2008-10-04T13:20:00.000-07:00

I've treated myself with a workshop from Suzi Blu for just 55 US dollars. I found her through Rianne who's also a member at SIStv and I completely fell in love with her mixed media art work. The workshop is all about making pretty looking doll girls (see photo above for one of Suzi Blu's art work). She is teaching us all kind of different techniques. There's a lot of stuff to download. I just love her PDF's!!! She's using videos to show how you have to make the girls and so on. For now, I have to draw eyes, faces and gestures in my art journal. I also have to keep a Healing Art Journal. That's probably the first thing I'm going to do tomorrow morning.

Last Thursday I have also treated myself with a new winter coat at H&M and some other new and warm clothes. And today I bought new shoes. They were a bit expensive but I loved them sooo much that I couldn't resist. So for the next couple of weeks I have to eat bread and drink water from the tab!!

I'm feeling great at the moment!! I have a new bed (see photo above) with new matrasses. My old matrasses had spirals in them and according to the therapist I went to see over the last couple of weeks these spirals made me feel very tired because of a spin-off reaction. Normally when we sleep the body is resting and loading itself with new energy. But in my case, because of this spin-off reaction, my system was working all night long and so in the morning I always felt sooo tired. With the new matrasses and the treatment I got, I have more energy and I don't feel so tired anymore!! Even the fibro bothers me less. Normally when it's rainy and cold weather my muscles ache a lot more, but the last couple of days I felt great, in spite of the rainy weather and the cold wind.

And just a couple of days ago I noticed that the pain in my shoulder was gone and I can move my arm freely now. (I have had a frozen shoulder in 2004/5.)

The pain in my lower back has also reduced. The last time I went to see the therapist he did a treatment to lenghten my right leg which was a little bit shorter than my left leg.

So, I'm very excited about this treatment!!!! There's a link to the website of my therapist in an older post.

Another Manga portrait!

2008-09-14T06:19:00.000-07:00

And here's another Manga portrait I made. This time with long hair. I'm thinking of letting my hair grow again you see!

When I was pregnant with Zander I had long hair. I decided to let it cut off when he started to pull my hair. Because my hair is very thick it is so much easier to handle when it's short and I truly believe that I look younger with short hair. Nevertheless, I want to give it a go to let my hair grow long again.

Here are some pictures of me from the past with either short or long(er) hair. Have a laugh!!! The one with black hair was taken when I felt really sick during a vacation in France. The one with the long dress was taken in a Laura Ashley shop when I worked there.

Face your Manga

2008-09-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

Just made this portrait of me in Manga style over here!!! It's fun to do!!

Book of me 2007

2008-09-12T02:39:00.000-07:00

Finally finished the Book of me 2007 which I started a long time ago. It's made with cardboard and paperbags. I used Basic Grey Periphery, a Hambly and chipboard letters from Heidi Swapp.

I'm still working on the album I started last week. I followed the workshop of Jo-Anne at SIS tv and learned some cool new techniques!

We had to use a lot of vintage stuff so I went to see my mother. She gave me my birth announcement card and all the birthcards they received after my brother and I were born. She even kept a very cute first birthday card my brother received. She also gave me her Poesiealbum (that's a small book where family, friends and teachers can write poems in) with a lot of vintage images.

I also found the fabric my mother used for our cradle and a small piece of fabric of a pyjama she made for me. So, I have a lot to work with now!

I'm not sure though when I feel fit enough to finish the album. I'm feeling very tired at the moment. My muscles ache a lot and I feel down.

So when I read an article in a local paper about a new therapy I send in an e-mail and the therapist called me back right away to answer some of my questions.

I have tried many alternative therapies in the past to feel better but none of them really helped. So I have become a bit sceptical although I still believe in healing our body without the use of farmaceuticals. This therapist told me that about 80 to 90% of the people they treat got rid of their physical or mental problems. They started to give this therapy to other people because his wive also got rid of her issues when she followed this therapy and she also had tried lots of different treatments.

The therapy is called: Photonen Coherentie Therapie and you can find more information here. They also give you links with information in English.

Update.

2008-09-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Nothing much happening over here. I just want to show you my new boots I bought at a braderie in our village last Saturday. I think they are cute!! The lady that sold them also has a website over here.

We had a nice and sunny weekend! I hung out in the back yard most of the time. I started reading The Da Vinci code by Dan Brown last Thursday. Actually, Zander wants to read it for a school assignment but I got intriged by the cover and started to read it first.

I also started to read Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I saw her at the Oprah show not so long ago and ordered her book (in English) through Bol.com.

So I finally started reading again! I wasn't in the mood and too restless to read for a long time!

And last but not least .... I treated myself on an online workshop from Jo-Anne at SIStv to get my scrapbook creativity flowing again. It starts this Wednesday and I think you can still sign in.

So I hope to show you some new scrapbook stuff soon.

Pictures of inside garden house.

2008-08-22T05:34:00.000-07:00

Totally forgot to upload these pictures of the inside of the garden house. This is where my son has his home program in the afternoon but I love to hang out there also when he's at school. I just love the smell of the timber.

Feeling tired but content!!

2008-08-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

I have been so busy with the back yard and did way too much myself, but I feel sooo content with how it turned out!!

Last Tuesday 2 friends of my dad came over to finish the terrace. I helped them by telling them where to put the tiles and where the bricks and throwing new tiles and bricks to them. By the end of the day every muscle in my body ached. When they had left I decided to make some changes so I put in some tiles and bricks myself. I'm happy with that decision because it looks so much better now.

The next day I bought some plants and I put the cobbles that I already had in my old back yard around one side of the terrace.

I haven't finished decorating and planting completely but this is how my back yard looks right now!

Birthday card

2008-08-11T14:14:00.000-07:00

Made this birthday card for my mother today. She will be celebrating her 81 birthday tomorrow!

I was inspired by a card I saw in the latest Cards only. That card was made by Johanna Tonnessen from Norway. You really have to check her out, she makes beautiful cards!!!

Quotes booklet

2008-08-10T04:11:00.000-07:00

Made another fabric booklet. This time only for quotes I like. I often read nice quotes in books or magazines but I never write them down. After a while I forget all about them and that's such a shame! So now I can write them down in this little booklet!

I'm feeling a little tired today. I have been working in the back yard yesterday, preparing everything for the men whom will make my terrace somewhere in the week(s) to come.

Finally some new scrapbooking projects.

2008-08-04T02:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I finally found some time and energy for scrapbooking. I made a layout with a self made sticker from woodgrain self adhesive and I used a piece of a transparant vinyl table cloth as a background.

I also made a small notebook out of the same vinyl table cloth I used on the layout and fabric.

I followed most of the directions from Donna Downey's book Fabric scrapbooking, but because the vinyl I used is transparant I made the fabric at the inside double sided.

We've decided not to keep the dog. It is way too much work for me to keep him. Zander doesn't want to walk with the dog so it's up to me to make sure he gets enough exercice. And although it's also good for me to get out of the house more often I'm starting to feel more tired by the day. He also brings a lot of dirt into the house because of his long and thick fur. And after every walk I have to clean his paws, belly and tail. When I was walking with him yesterday afternoon it suddenly started to rain and he was really, really dirty by the time we arrived home. I had to give him a bath, dry and brush him and I felt exhausted afterwards and so that's when I decided not to keep him! He also makes little squeaky sounds when he has to stay in his basket and that drives Zander crazy. He starts scolding at the dog and I have to calm him down. No, there are too many negatives about keeping him so he has to go. I hope his owner finds a good home for him because he really is a cute dog!!! Look at the pictures of him when he wrapped himself into his blanket, doesn't he look cute?!

Lazy Summer evenings ...

2008-08-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

... on my new wooden terrace. I just love to sit on my new wooden terrace in front of the garden house just doing nothing. It's almost like meditating or maybe it is!! Last night I put all the candles on and the pot heater (it is made of ceramics) and was just sitting in my white chair with new cushion (Ikea), staring in the flames and thinking of nothing in particular. On one side of the chair was the dog and on the other side the cat.

Zander was inside behind his new best friend: his laptop. He doesn't like to be outside, even though we now have wireless internet and he could come and sit outside with me.

Just 2 more weeks of vacation for him and school starts. He will be in the 3rd year of the VMBO tl. After that he has 1 more year to go and pass his exams. I hope he will be able to stay in this school because it is the best school available in our region for kids with autism. His mentor and some of his teachers of last year aren't convinced of him being able to stay in this school because of his poor social skills. I suppose they are more used to kids with PDD and not to kids with a profounder form of autism.

For my son all the social interaction at school isn't important. He goes to school because he has to learn!! One time when I was explaining him things about what his mentor told me about his poor interaction with the other kids of his class, Zander said: "Why should I have to do that? I'm going to school to study and not to play or talk to the other kids! Most of the other kids are always doing things they shouldn't be doing, like playing with their mobile during classes or talking or pestering other kids! I don't want to do that! I just want to go school to study"

Anyways, we're still having a home-program for him after school to help him with his homework and to help him with his social skills. We will also start psycho-education about his autism. He doesn't want to know much about him having autism and it's very important that he accepts his autism and learns about what are his positive and negative qualities.

Look ...

2008-07-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

... at our new (try out) housepet! His name is Ger and he's 6 years old. It's a Boomer-dog. That's a crossing between a Maltese and another dog. In our case a sheepdog. He's very cute!!

His (previous) owner was looking for a new home for Ger because she's almost never at home and although he can stay alone for a very long time, she felt sorry for him and that's why she was looking for a good new home for her dog.

I only agreed to take the dog for a try out period of 14 days, so that we can experience how it goes. The owner lives in a city nearby and if it's not working out in a positive way she comes to take the dog back home with her.

Busy, busy ...

2008-07-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

... with painting again!!!

I decided last Tuesday that with Zander at his dad and my cleaning lady on vacation for a couple of weeks it was THE moment to paint the staircase, hall and the landing. I felt great when I started this big project. Ofcourse now my whole body aches again but I'm so proud of all the work that I've done and I'm pleased with how everything turned out. I even painted some of the furniture in the hall and on the landing!!

Everything white on the pictures was either yellow or wood.

The week before I painted some old chairs made of cane and reed that are now on the wooden terrace in front of the garden house. They turned out great too!! At Action (Dutch store with really cool stuff for little money) I bought 2 white lamps to brighten up the garden house.

Tomorrow someone will come and install the electricity in the garden house so that we can have some lights and a heater there during the cold months. He has to dig a hole from the main house to the garden house (about 20 meters) and will be busy whole day.

When his job is done it will be time to make the terrace with tiles and bricks that I will get from my neighbours. They are getting a new terrace in August and asked me if I was interested in their old one. Sure, I can use anything! Especially if it's for free!

I think I will invite all the people that have helped me out with Project Back yard for a BBQ to show them my gratitude!!

Because I was so busy with painting I didn't have the time left for some scrapbooking. I hope to be able to finish the mini book About me in 2007 this evening or tomorrow and if not it has to wait till next week because tomorrow evening I'm leaving for Utrecht to spent a couple of days with Ad and my son.

Finally ....

2008-07-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

.... found the time, inspiration and energy to make a traditional layout again!

Some weeks ago I bought We dare you, scrapbook challenges about real life from Kristina Contes, Nisa Fiin, Genevieve Simmonds and Meghan Heath Dymock.

So I got inspired by that and made this simple layout yesterday afternoon. What also helped to finish it, was the presence of Heidi who came over for the day. She also needed some special scrapbook time to get started again after her mom past away.

First we went through my new books and Heidi's scrapbook magazines (Making Memories and Creating Keepsakes), sitting in the sun in my backyard with a cup of herbal tea. Then I made some roasted bread with a home made vegetable spread in between. Can't find the English word for it but we call it a tosti. The recipe is from the Fit for life diet.

After lunch we finally started to work on our layouts.

I also taught Heidi how to work with the clone stamp in Adobe Photoshop on a damaged photo of her DH.

I felt great after she left around 7 p.m.!!! The scrap mojo is back!!

After I made some sandwiches (wasn't in the mood to make dinner) I immediately started on my next project. Last year I made a mini album about Me in 2007, but I never filled it with photos and journaling. So that's my new project. I hope to finish it today.

New digi layouts and photos of little chicks!!

2008-07-04T03:50:00.000-07:00

Made some new digital layouts at Scrapblog. Two of them (Zander and Misty) are made with a sketch from Scrapblogsketches. This is a blog started by Julie Ann Shahin .

The other digi is with a picture of me when I was a little girl. Normally I almost never use pink - because I have a son - but it was fun using all the pink stuff at Scrapblog!!

I also made some pictures from the new born chicks from one of the neighbours. There were 10 eggs, but only 4 came out. Don't they look cute!!!?

R.I.P. Kuifje

2008-07-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

This afternoon my chicken Kuifje died.

Yesterday, I already noticed that she was sitting a lot on the same spot and that she was shaking her head in a funny way. Her comb looked pale too.

I took some pictures of her because I felt she was going to die soon.

Last night when I made my tour around the house she was still sitting outside. Normally she always goes to the chickenhouse when it's getting dark. So, I put her in the chickenhouse myself.

This morning she hadn't left the chickenhouse yet at 10 o'clock. Untill today she was always up and about early in the morning, so I knew for sure that she was really sick. I also knew that she couldn't be saved anymore. So, when the sun started to shine on the chickenhouse I took her out and put her on a nice spot in the shade. I sat with her for a while, talking to her and patting her on the back. I left her alone for a while to finish some chores and when I came outside to check on her she was dead.

I buried her behind the gardenhouse, close to her 'sisters'.

This is the picture I took of her yesterday.